She's gone. My mother passed away on February 7th, early in the morning although the "official" time of death is approximately 9:45 AM.
Audrey was there to greet her. For days, my dad felt it around the house. Doors opening that were shut tight. Just a feeling, thinking you see someone walking around a corner. I visited with her on Thursday, which had been Schylar's birthday. We had gone out for dinner and I brought my dad a plate back. Mom hadn't been eating. She slept the whole time, but it felt like a disturbed sleep.
My aunt and uncle visited Friday night, and the oddest thing happened. My aunt does not believe in the supernatural, or didn't at the time. There was a puff of smoke in the kitchen, and then she exclaimed, "It's Audrey! She's come to take grandma home!" She saw my daughter's apparition in the kitchen of my parents house. My dad's best friend (who I call my uncle) saw something similar outside just a couple days before. I wasn't fortunate enough to be witness...
My dad texted me Friday night that he thought her time was soon coming to an end.
Saturday morning, I had set my alarm early so that I would have enough time to get the girls ready and have breakfast before Alicia came over. We were celebrating Schylar's birthday that day, she had plans to take them to an indoor glow-in-the-dark mini golf course and I was going to get the cake and balloons in the meantime. Within minutes of waking up, I received the phone call from my dad that she had passed.
She was up around 2:30AM and he had given her medicine to her. Said he finally fell asleep around 3:30 and when he woke up around 7:30, she was in the exact same position, eyes open. Cold to the touch, not breathing. My mother had filled out a do-not-resuscitate. He called my brother, my uncle, and myself before calling hospice. We got there and had enough time to say our goodbyes before hospice got there.
I know she's in a better place. I don't think it's fully hit me yet that she's gone. My dad, my brother, my poor grandma are forced to accept it because they're there all the time. I'm not, I have my own place far enough away that I'm not around all the time. The girls took it hard. They were told grandma is in heaven with Audrey, but I don't think it hit them until they saw her urn. Saw that she wasn't physically in the house anymore.
The only positive thing I think that has come out of losing my mom is that my relationship with my father has gotten so much better. I can actually talk to him about things now, life goals, plans. Something I just never felt comfortable doing before because I know some mom wouldn't have approved of (like having another child or moving away). On the ride to the funeral home to get the urns, my dad and I talked about the past...before everything bad ever happened. My childhood, how him and mom met. I'm 26 years old and had never heard the story of how they met before!
He's also a lot more active. Granted, he has to be now, but still. He's doing laundry, dishes, cleaning. Tomorrow he's picking the girls up to take them out for lunch and they are just SO excited for their date with pappy. Viv has only ever had that once before (when Schy and I took mom for her wig); Schy has never had a pappy date before.
He's talked about moving with us next year when we go to Florida, and I'm happy to hear that. His brother is in Florida, not far from where we plan to move. He has friends in Florida. So he'll be able to visit with others, not just us.
The girls started at a babysitter this week. They've actually done really well so I'm happy with that. I'm very thankful the amazing company I work for gave me off all last week for bereavement, 3/5 days are paid. Seriously, Amazon has the most amazing benefits, I couldn't ask for better!
Jeff's looking at going back to school in the fall. He's wanted to go for video game design, and it just happens to be one of the programs Amazon covers. They will pay 95% tuition up to $3,000 per year for him to go. Then I'm sure he can get a grant from the VA for the rest as a veteran benefit. I've considered it too given those options, not sure if I wanted to go back for accounting or just do a medical assistant program. I have time to decide.
Viv has received her second report card. She is excelling in almost all areas. She is a math whiz though. We just finished the subtraction chapter (probably helps I taught her before she was even in school) but she got all 100's on her work sheets. Just had circles because she doesn't always cross off the objects to show her work.
My dad asked to start a fundraiser page to help cover the costs of mom's funeral. So far, it's been live for 5 days. Our awesome family and friends have donated $400 so far. We are extremely blessed. If you can assist at all, go here. Thank you in advance.
